Let’s face it: no one can be confident all the time. Even super confident people sometimes don’t feel that confident in some situations, and like everyone else, they come with their own set of flaws. We all experience challenges but there is one thing that prevents certain people from falling back and that is their confidence.

Some people radiate so much confidence, so often, that mere mortals are left wondering what their secret could be. Well, that same confidence you see so aptly displayed in them, is also a potential in you – if you want it.

You don’t need a magic potion (although that would be awesome, so pretend, and chalk it up to the placebo effect), but if you want a some swagger in your life, erase the following confidence-destroying habits from your life for good:

  1. Make excuses

    Highly confident people take full responsibility for their actions as well as thoughts and as a result don’t blame others for their shortcomings. For example, a confident person will not blame the weather for a bad day, they aim to make the day better in whichever way works best for him or her. Confident people don’t wait for things to get better, they keep improving the situation until it’s good enough for them.

  2. Compare yourself with other people

    In other words: ditch the compare and despair – it does you no good. Highly confident people are aware of the fact that everyone is different and each one of us possesses unique characteristics. They don’t spend time comparing themselves to others because those kind of comparisons don’t exist in their life, instead they spend most of their time focused on what’s already good and what’s getting better. Strive for progress, not perfection!

  3. Avoid challenges, never leave your comfort zone

    People love to stay inside their comfort zones because, you guessed it, it’s comfortable! However, they do so at a grave price: the freedom of living a truly fulfilling life. Here’s a secret: everyone has a degree of anxiety when they step outside their comfort zone to do something new, the difference is that highly confident people focus on the excitement of the experience.

    Instead of staying in a stale bubble, confident people evolve by taking risks and facing life’s challenges. Strangely, the more you do something new, the more confident you get at it, just like riding a bike. Most importantly, confident people know that dreams perish in comfort zones and choose instead to push the boundaries of what is possible for living their best life.

  4. Procrastinate

    Highly confident people don’t believe in the “better late than never” mentality. They know that if they establish a proper plan and start today, they will be one step closer to getting to where they want to be. There’s a reason they say: “fail to plan, plan to fail” but confident people also embrace the unknown, because sometimes life doesn’t care about your plans – it’s got its’ own plan!

    Confident people don’t wait for the right time or circumstances because they know that these thoughts only get in the way of living an awesome life. If they intend to make a change, they do it right away and don’t wait for tomorrow.

  5. Try to please everyone

    Like the saying goes: you can please some of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time. Highly confident people know that people-pleasing is impossible – people are responsible for their own happiness – and so they don’t do it. That doesn’t mean they are jerks, or selfish, it simply means they consider their own intentions and motives before agreeing to anything.

    Confident people know that by saying ‘yes’ to something or someone when they really want to say ‘no’ is dishonest, and like you, they’re worth more than that.

  6. Care too much about what people think about you

    Highly confident people don’t get down by what people say about them. They simply view it as feedback, and they weigh the validity of that feedback without judgement. Confident people know that you can’t change what has been said, but you can go on living your best life and doing what inspires you. If people decide to change their views, or continue being naysayers it just doesn’t matter to them – their happiness doesn’t depend on people liking them. They know that there are people who accept them exactly the way they are, so they don’t waste their time trying to convince the people to like them.

  7. Judge everyone and everything

    Highly confident people don’t have the time or inclination to inflict themselves with unnecessary drama. They don’t bother backstabbing, gossiping or insulting people – they’ve got better things to do, like living a life filled with joy and passion. They don’t attack people for having an different opinion because they’re secure in their own belief. And because they are comfortable with themselves, they don’t find it necessary to look down on or degrade people or situations.

  8. Never take risks

    Calculated risks are essential to living a fulfilling and exciting life. Highly confident people know that some actions are risky but they are also aware that a risk and a gamble are two separate things. They take risks because they believe it is worth the effort; the juice is worth the squeeze. However, a gamble requires minimal effort and thinking skills – it is merely a game of chance. Confident people take calculated risks, and importantly, they know they don’t need permission for their actions either.

  9. View mistakes as failure

    Mistakes are the pathway to success. Highly confident folks don’t get depressed because of their mistakes, instead they embrace them. They realize each mistake they make is their own and take full responsibility for them. Mistakes are an opportunity to learn and grow and as a result, have a more awesome life. Confident people know that every mistake is a signpost showing them which way they should be going; now they know exactly what not to do to be more successful in the future.

  10. Seek reassurance all the time

    If you need your thoughts and actions to be validated by other people before you’re happy with them, you’re going to have a bad time. Highly confident people don’t need to be spoon-fed. They are aware that life is full of challenges and that sometimes it doesn’t seem fair. They know that some things work in their favor, and some things don’t. Even though there are some events that cannot be controlled by them, they confine their energy to what they can do in order to respond positively and move forward with joyful ease.

Ditch these 10 confidence-destroying habits, blank them out with permanent marker and it won’t be long until you’re living a happier, more joyful, confident life!

Shomaila Issam

Shomaila is a fitness-loving, clean-eating, keyboard-stabbing bookworm. Being involved in a sedentary lifestyle, she enjoys releasing her frustration through exercise, especially Pilates, and sharing her thoughts via the interwebs.

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